Hippoplatypies. i

I don’t know if I’ve shared this before, but after I woke up from getting my wisdom teeth out, I started crying because I thought I’d been raped.

I picked up one of these godforsaken desks today

because that plastic bit on the front end of the chair where people actually put their weight and there’s no support for it was completely cracked and the metal stuck through and stabbed me in the thighs so I didn’t want to sit on that.

Anyways, so I picked it up to move it and I didn’t realize it was one of the desks with an arm bar because some of them don’t and it hit me in the eye/forehead and I’m pretty sure I’m going to bruise just in time for my senior speech Wednesday and one-act play tomorrow, but whatever, you know.

I’m so fucking done with these desks.

I just stabbed my pinky with a seam ripper and it really hurts.

I associate the word nephrotic with necrophilia and used to think it was the adjective form of the word.

So today I asked my Latin lover (i.e., the guy I had to get “married” to in a “traditional Roman marriage” last year in Latin III) how he and his girlfriend are doing and apparently they broke up three weeks ago because college, and if I ask you stuff like that I DON’T MEAN TO BE LIKE WOW YOU BROKE UP HA I JUST ACTUALLY NEVER KNOW WHEN RELATIONSHIPS START OR END UNTIL AT LEAST A MONTH LATER.

I mentioned in my Harvard interview that I would never want to work for McAfee, and I meant it as a joke, but my interviewer didn’t get it.

Not gonna lie, I thought Sauron and Saruman were the same thing up until like a year ago.

I just punched myself in the face after putting my head through the sleeve of my shirt while getting dressed.

I just nearly face planted in the kitchen because I was trying to pretend to be a snake with socks on.

Okay, I’m going through my calculus notes and calculus is at one of the worst times of the day for me, because I get really tired after lunch (actually, I’m just always tired or something.).

I WROTE ALL THE NUMBERS FOR ONE OF THE PRACTICE PROBLEMS BACKWARDS.

BACKWARDS.

WHAT THE FUCK.

I CAN’T EVEN DO THAT AWAKE.

WHAT.